


Unravel

by Ogoe_Yuka



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: In-line with :Re, M/M, Post Root A
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-03-20 03:58:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3635793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ogoe_Yuka/pseuds/Ogoe_Yuka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because of the voice that Haise often remembers from his dreams and bits of memories, he finally gathers up his courage to know more about himself and look for the one he calls his home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Unravel

**Author's Note:**

> I did this to fix my shattered heart after seeing the screenshots and gifs about Tokyo Ghoul Root A on tumblr. I still don't believe that Hide's dead because dead people don't move when a tear drops on their face. Nobody can convince me otherwise and I'm sure that we all want that precious sunshine to be back anyways so yeah.

_'Let's go back home.'_

Those were the words that Haise often heard in his dreams. Over the past two years- turning three- of working for CCG, Haise managed to regain tidbits of his memories. They're nothing big and there are still no faces, but he feels a bit of an attachment to an elementary school, then there's that library he couldn't help but enter every time he passes by the area and finally, there's that small cafe.

 

It wasn't really the cafe that's making him nostalgic nor was it the cute waitress, but rather the table he often occupies. He feels that he used to go there with someone who was very important to him so he drops by the cafe with a book and orders a cup of coffee. Sometimes, the kids accompany him but mostly, he's by himself.

 

Whenever he's feeling down or 'overthinking stuff' as Saiko said, there was that voice he remembers that says "It'll be alright, buddy!" or "Everything's gonna be okay!" and after that, he'd calm down and feel better. Even though he couldn't see the person's face in his dreams and in his recollections, he somehow knows that the person was smiling and it was very warm. Quite homey, if he's being honest.

 

Aside from the dreams and nostalgic feelings, he's also started welcoming the voice in his head, although it still scares him that he might actually be insane. However, he's finally accepted that the voice in his head is a part of him and he decided that he doesn't want to keep running away from his past anymore.

 

**Look for him, Haise... Look for him!**

_'Look for who?'_ Haise asked the voice in his head.

 

**Look for Hide, Haise..! Look for him!**

_'Hide...? Who...?'_

**Hide is... Hide is my..!**

 

Suddenly, Haise was struck with a headache so bad he clutched his head while groaning, on the verge of screaming and shouting because his head feels like it's being split and crushed. Memories flooded his mind as clearer moments of his past pieced themselves together. The school, the sunset, the library, the riverbank, the cafe... and the boy... the boy who had the warmest smile he's ever seen.

_"So would you be my friend? . . . All right! I'm Nagachika Hideyoshi. Call me Hide. Nice to meet you."_

_"Your mom's still not here? Then I'll wait with you until she arrives."_

_"Hey you. You're always reading books by yourself at school, huh?"_

_"Ehhh? Can't I hug my best friend for no reason at all?"_

_"Everything's gonna be alright, buddy!"_

_"Hey! I found a nice bookstore! I'm sure you'd love it!"_

_"Your knee's bleeding... Get on my back! I'll carry you home."_

_"I don't know what's going on in that head of yours but don't think too much, okay? Everything's gonna be fine!"_

_"Coffee by yours truly for my coffee maniac of a best friend because I know you just can't have enough of the coffee I make for ya!"_

_"Could it be that the balance shifted...?"_

_"You're not alone, buddy. I'm always here for you."_

_"Put yourself in my shoes! When rabbits get lonely, they can die!"_

_"UOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIII! Hey, Kaneki! How long are you gonna stay home!?"_

_"Hey! Are you listening to me, Kaneki?"_

_"Are you eating right? You're looking pale. You've gotta eat or you'll ruin your health."_

_"Don't be afraid. You have me."_

_"Let's go home, Ken. Let's go back home."_

 

At that last one, Haise screamed out. While going through the painful headache, he didn't notice that the children entered the room and rushed to his side the moment they saw him thrashing.

 

**YOU HAVE TO FIND HIM, HAISE...! YOU HAVE TO FIND HIM! GET HIM BACK!**

 

"AAAAHHHHHH!!" Haise thrashed while Shirazu, Mutsuki and Urie were holding his arms and legs. Saiko was draped over his chest while sobbing.

 

"Maman... please calm down!"

 

"Sensei, please..."

 

"Sassan..."

 

Haise gasped when the headache stopped and the only thing he heard in his head was the voice that was sobbing.

 

**Hide... Hide... Hide... Hide... I'm sorry... I'm so sorry...**

 

This made Haise tear up while staring at the ceiling of his room. In his memories, there was a boy with messy blond hair and hazel brown eyes who grew up with him. Hide was his best friend who stuck by his side through it all. He was his anchor to sanity and reality. Hide was...

 

**Hide's my home...**

 

_'The only place where I belong in this world...'_ Haise thought.

 

"Maman...?" Saiko looked at her mentor and wiped the tears that were streaming from his eyes. That was when she noticed that Haise's left eye turned red and black and instead of colorless tears, the ones coming from his left eye were red. The three Quinx holding Haise down looked at each other before releasing the limbs they were restraining.

 

_'Wh-Where's Hide...?'_ The half-ghoul asked the voice in his head. It has grown weaker and more vulnerable after the flashback of memories.

 

**I left him with Arima-san... Look for him, Haise...**

 

"Maman..." Saiko ran her fingers through Haise's hair and the half-ghoul looked around, finally recognizing the kids.

 

"Everyone..."

 

"You were screaming... What happened?"

 

**Hide... He's the only one I have... Look for him... Save him... Get him back…**

 

Haise lifted his left arm and rubbed the tears from his eyes. He then shifted his gaze to the kids that were by his bedside.

 

"It's nothing, Saiko-chan. Sorry."

 

"Sensei, your eye... it changed to that of a ghoul's earlier while you were screaming..." Mutsuki said after noticing that his mentor's eye changed back to normal and Haise sat up. The half-ghoul lifted his hand to touch his eye and he sighed before he smiled a little at the kids.

 

"I'll be fine."

 

The Quinx looked at each other before hesitantly nodding, with the usual exception of Urie. Haise stood up and grabbed his coat from the back of a chair before he put it on.

 

"I'm going somewhere. I'll return later."

 

"We'll go with you, Sassan!"

 

"Just stay here in the chateau, okay? I promise I won't take long." Haise said with a smile before he left.

 

* * *

 

 

Haise rushed to Arima's office after he called him saying he had to see him no matter what. The older male said it was alright for him to drop by and that he'd just be at his office.

 

"Arima-san." The younger of the two said as he entered the reaper's office.

 

"What's the matter, Haise?" came Arima's cool voice.

 

The half-ghoul clenched his fists as he mustered all of his courage to ask the question that plagued his mind after the flashback he had earlier.

 

"Wh-Where's... Where's Hide?" Haise met Arima's gaze dead-on.

 

Arima looked at his pseudo-son and took in the distraught look in his eyes mixed with fear but largely overcome by the determination to know.

 

_'So the time has come, huh?'_ The ghoul reaper thought as he stood from his place and approached the younger male.

 

"Weren't you the one who told me that you're afraid for the walls, achievements, comrades and made-up family you had for the past two and a half years to break should your past return?"

 

"I..."

 

Haise bit his lower lip and looked at his clenched fist before he unclenched it.

 

"I'm afraid... Of course I'm afraid... but nothing's gonna happen to me if I keep running and keep rejecting my past. That voice in my head... the ghoul inside me... the ghoul that I am... they're all a part of me. I know that remembering everything will not be an easy process because nothing is easy in this world. That's why I'm starting with the ones I can remember... the ones that the ghoul inside me want to remember..."

 

"And he wants you to remember Nagachika?"

 

"Yes... though it's more like, the ghoul wants me to look for Hide... to save him... to have him back... From the memories I have, Hide's... Hide's the most important person in my life. He's my best friend... the one I wanted to protect from this world... the one I didn't want to be tainted... the one I left behind because I didn't want him to get caught up with whatever's happened to me although in the end, he seemed to have known from the start..."

 

"Are you prepared to suffer the moment you get your memories back? Nagachika's the only link you have with your childhood, your memories on how you became a ghoul, what you did before, what you've lost and who you were. The memories that surround him could both be pleasant and chaotic. Are you sure you want to see him?"

 

"It's probably nothing compared to what I've gone through for me to completely lose my memories. At least if I see Hide... if I get him back... I might- no, I will have an anchor to who I was, who I am and who I will be."

 

Arima looked at Haise for a little while longer before he pushed his glasses up his nose bridge and motioned for the younger male to follow him to a secret passage within his office.

 

"The last thing you did before you lost your memories years ago was that you brought Nagachika to me even though you were surrounded by members of the CCG. It was during the raid of Anteiku or the war within the 20th ward where you originally came from. Nagachika was fatally wounded that time. I don't what happened or where you two came from but you were carrying him while he was wrapped in a white cloth."

 

"It can't be... Hide... Hide's..." Haise's tears welled up and he slumped against the wall of the hallway they were walking on.

 

"You said you wanted to know so I will give what you're seeking."

 

Arima placed his hand against the wall and pushed it, revealing a hidden room that didn't differ much from a hospital room. He then turned to Haise, who at that time had his eyes closed and was crying, and pushed him into the room.

 

"Open your eyes, Haise."

 

Haise reluctantly did what he was told and gasped after seeing who was in the room. Connected to various medical machines and was lying on the hospital bed with an oxygen mask on his face was Hide- the very person he wanted to see.

 

"H-Hide... Hide...!" Haise immediately ran across the room and stood on the bedside. He put his trembling hands on Hide's face, noting how the blond male was slightly thinner compared to the one in his memories. He was paler and his hair was longer too.

 

"Arima-san... I thought Hide's..."

 

"I only said he was fatally wounded, I never said he was dead. While he was in your arms that time, he was unconscious from losing a lot of blood. That time, you begged me to save him and that you'd do anything just for him to be saved, just for him to live."

 

_'Arima-san, please... Please save Hide..! I-I'll do anything! I'll work for the CCG..! I'll hunt the ghouls..! I'll do whatever you want... just please... please save Hide... I don't want to lose him... anyone but him... Please, Arima-san...’ Kaneki said as he held Hide’s body closer to his chest while looking at Arima._

 

Memories from that time flooded Haise's mind so he held Hide's hand and brought it to his cheek. Relief filled his whole being as he heard the continued beeping of the machine that matches Hide's steady heartbeat.

 

"Thank you, Arima-san... for saving Hide..." Haise sobbed while still clutching Hide's hand.

 

"You have nothing to thank me for. Nagachika was the one who wanted to survive, that's why he's still alive, although, he hasn't gained consciousness for the past years."

 

"That's alright because Hide's... finally here. I'm sure that everything's gonna be fine."

 

Haise firmly said and was backed-up by the small smile on Hide's lips and light twitch of his fingers. Finally, Haise's ready to make small steps into finding out who he is and what he really was, so long as he has Hide, he knows that everything will be alright.

 

He was finally home.


End file.
